Our Miss Brooks

A Tale of the Roaring Twenties
It was 1929 and I was in Berlin filming Lulu with G.W. Pabst. Even though I had started out as a hayseed from Kansas and had really learned a thing or two since dancing in the Follies and acting in Hollywood I was just short of flabbergasted at the local customs. I mean that in those days in Berlin sex was the business of the town. At the Eden Hotel, where I lived, the café bar was lined with the higher-priced trollops. The economy girls walked the street outside. On the corner stood the girls in boots, advertising flagellation. Actors’ agents pimped for the ladies in luxury apartments in the Bavarian Quarter. Race-track touts at the Hoppegarten arranged orgies for groups of sportsmen. The nightclub Eldorado displayed an enticing line of homosexuals dressed as women. At the Maly, there was a choice of feminine or collar-and-tie lesbians. Collective lust roared unashamed at the theatre. In the revue ‘Chocolate Kiddies’, when Josephine Baker appeared naked except for a girdle of bananas, it was precisely as Lulu’s stage entrance was described by Wedekind : “They rage there as in a ménagerie when the meat appears at the cage.”

I guess I was still a flibbertigibbet about town, Mr. Pabst’s ‘American Star’, talked about (mostly behind my back) and resented for daring to play the German Lulu. A great many actors, directors, writers and what not passed by the set, checking us (or me) out. I suppose it never hurts to keep abreast of the competition.

I remember one particularly enervating day. Fritz Kortner played the role of Doctor Schon, a man bent on possessing and destroying me as Lulu. It was difficult enough doing the part with the passion and technique that Pabst demanded, but even more difficult knowing that Kortner harbored equal foul desires in his real loathsome self. That was the day that Leni Riefenstahl came by and stood gabbing and laughing with Pabst while I was engaged under the cameras. I felt loathsome myself, reviled and unclean. The shooting finished, off I went in a huff to my dressing room, feeling sorry for myself and on the verge of tears. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Normally Herr Pabst wasn’t one for hanging around with a bunch of floozies, flouting his position as a moving picture director. But that walking advertisement for the Teutonic virtues got under my skin. Sure she was an up and coming film star in Germany, but what galls my memory even more is that Riefenstahl really hit the big time later.

My darling maid, Josephine Muller, had also worked for Asta Nielsen and thought her the greatest actress in the world, but considered me the world’s worst. For this she came to love me tenderly and did whatever possible to keep up my spirits.

“Fraulein Louise, you are not feeling well, nicht wahr ?” she asked.

“No Josefine, I am not.”

“This making of the pictures is very difficult work, you must have lots of rest and be fit of body.” she said in a very knowing matter-of-fact voice.

“Sure, Josefine. I guess you think I don’t get enough rest either.” Pabst really harped me on that subject. He just couldn’t figure out how I could party through the night and be fit for work the next morning.

“Loueeesss,” he would say in his high toned voice, “Loueeesss, you should not so disdainful of yourself. Proper care of the body is required. Only then will you have the possibility of being a great actress.”

Well anyway, after staying with me and fussing around, Josefine left and went over to Pabst and talked for a short while. He was still laughing it up with Riefenstahl, gesturing wildly and moving about with that quick nervous energy of his. I really did wonder where he got it from at his age.

Disengaging from the tall dark actress he came over to me. “Louise, Louise, so many times I have said to you, take care of the body, take care. Still, you go to parties, sleep little and drink much. This is not good. If you continue in such a manner you will not finish in my picture. This will cost many Deutschmarks and do no good for you.”

He was pensive for a moment. “You see Fraulein Leni ?” he pointed to the athletic looking figure. “She and I share the same doctor and I would like for you to see him tomorrow. I will arrange for an appointment. I will inform Josefine of the time and she will accompany you. Here is his card. You are to follow the Herr Doktor’s advice.” With no more ado, he took a card from his vest pocket, handed it to me and strode back to his visiting Valkyrie.

I thought of throwing the card away, just to be spiteful, but seeing Josefine look at me in that way of hers made me refrain. I pouted fleetingly and looked at the card : ‘Gesundheitsklinikum und Therapiezentrum Doktor Kitzslers, Praxis : Montags bis zum Freitags, Prinz Albrechtsstrasse 7.’

Well, that was certainly a mouthful of German. At least I recognized the address. Prinz Albrechtsstrasse was in a very respectable neighborhood. I wondered what all the fancy names really meant. Did Pabst go to this Kitzsler fellow and come back full of energy ? Oh well, I thought, best to humor the director and at least pretend to do as he says. That was one lesson I learned (too late) in Hollywood.

Next morning Herr Pabst sent a messenger over to the Eden with a note telling me I was excused from shooting today. There was another note informing me of a 2 o’clock appointment at the Herr Doktor’s Klinikum. Josefine told me straight off that she would of course accompany me. First as a matter of duty, to which I wearily nodded and second to translate for me in case the doctor spoke no English. That sounded like a good idea, so after a light lunch we got a cab and were set off in front of the ‘Gesundheitsklinikum’. Josefine rang the bell and we were admitted.

A doorman led us into the reception room, one of those dark, dreary high-ceilinged rooms so beloved on the continent. The poor fellow strode ramrod straight ahead of us and I could see his left hand was missing several digits. Another Great War veteran and from the looks of his injuries, one of the less unfortunate. I’d seen far worse cases begging in the streets. In the reception room was a large oak-wood desk at which sat a secretary. She looked up questioningly. I went over to her and announced that I had an appointment with the Herr Doktor at two.

“Fraulein Brooks ?” she asked. When I nodded, she looked up an entry in her big black book, made a discreet note somewhere and bid me to have a seat until the doctor was ready with his present patient. Josefine did the translating of course.

At the stroke of two, a rather formidable looking nurse all clad in white strode into the room. I looked up, surprised at her bearing and thought she could have been the doorman’s drill sergeant. She certainly had the proper physique. Gesturing more than talking, she ordered us to follow her.

Along we marched down another hallway, with dark paneling and burgundy carpets, an altogether gloomy interior. Into another door again, this one set with glazed glass in the upper panel. This was the Herr Doktor’s study from the looks of it, books and all, with the doctor himself behind an even larger more impressive desk. He was writing and bade me take a seat by gesturing with his free left hand, never looking up from his papers.

“Lassen Sie uns allein bitte, Sigrid,” he commanded the nurse. She left and took Josefine with her. Smiling the doctor reassured me, “Not to worry Fraulein Brooks, I speak passable English. We will haf no trouble communicating.”

Was that good news, or not ?

“Before I commence any of the treatments, I will be asking you questions of a personal medical nature. Better to haf such things done in private, nicht wahr ?”

“Whatever you say, you’re the sawbones.” I tried joking. Right then and there we experienced a lapse of communication. I could see he didn’t go in for levity or understand American slang. Or both maybe.

“I am very sorry Fraulein, Brooks. But I am not understanding…”

“I mean you’re the doctor.”

“Ja ja, naturlich.” He frowned for moment, maybe trying to figure out if I was having him on, or if all American movie stars were just lightheaded flappers.

He composed himself and continued. “Herr Pabst, your employer,” and with that remark he looked at me questioningly until I nodded in agreement, “Yes, your employer has asked of me that I give you examination and a treatment for reinvigoration of the body. Correct ?”

“Sure,” I said, “ That’s my understanding.”

“Gut, then I will commence with the questioning.” He took a sheaf of papers and started writing. “Fraulein Brooks,” scribble scribble….”Louise…” scribble scribble….” You were born in…?”

“1902,” I answered, and so on. Married once, divorced, dancer, chorus girl, actress, childhood diseases and all of that stuff. Boring and trite. Probably been published any number of times in the gossip columns. I played the part of the patient, doling out the information, not sure any of it was even pertinent. But the Herr Doktor continued writing diligently until he paused and took a break in his rapid fire questioning. He took the pen and held it with thumb and index finger of both hands, delicately poised at nose level. Looking over it, he arched his eyebrows.

“Now I would be liking to understand the personal details of your body habits and customs.”

I was trying to figure out what he meant, but wasn’t quite sure. “You are a regular drinker ?”

I nodded.

“Much ?” Well that was a good question. I’d never let Prohibition inhibit me, if that’s what he meant. I drank my share of bootleg whiskey and bathtub gin that’s for sure, and thought all the world of German schnapps too.

“Enough, maybe just a little little bit too much sometimes. I never get really spifficated though.” I answered.

His bewildered look told me that I had better skip the slang. “I don’t get drunk I mean.”

“Ach so,” he intoned knowingly. “Cocaine ?”

“Never, wouldn’t touch the stuff.”

“Gut,” and on he went. What did I eat, how often, how much, did I suffer from indigestion, headaches, bad eyesight, nervosity, constipation, melancholy, insomnia, flatulence…..?

I’ll give him this much, he didn’t miss much that could go wrong with a person. Then he got personal.

“Fraulein Brooks, you haf been married. Were your …relations with your husband satisfactory ?” He looked at me expectantly.

Well, we were at a crossroads. Was it expected of me that I protest and feign indignation ? At first ? Then coyly and reluctantly give him the laydown ? I didn’t know how these German doctors expected you to act.

“Geez Doc,…” I began, then thought better of it and just told it as it was.

He sure had a lot of questions. I don’t know if he was trying to embarrass me or if he had decided I was an easy mark or if it all just interested him or if it was actually pertinent for his treatment. I decided for once that the truth might be the best refuge and so I didn’t skirt around the issue. After a while it was sort of fun and I had to make sure I didn’t go overboard with my answers.

This went on for a while, him scribbling away on his papers, muttering “ja ja,” and “ach so,” now and then. He finally fell silent and put away his pen. The Herr Doktor stood up and came next to my chair. Telling me to relax, he fiddled around with my neck, feeling and pressing at various places, looked into my eyes, had me stick out my tongue, that old doctor’s favorite, felt my pulse, looked at my palms and so on. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what he was looking for.

Doctor Kitzsler went back to his desk and pressed a buzzer, summoning the nurse. He told her something in fast German and I could have sworn she answered “Zu befehl.”

Turning to me he instructed, “Fraulein Brooks, you will accompany Krankenschwester Sigrid and prepare for the examination, please. She will show you the changing room.”

Changing room ? “Whatever for Herr Doktor ?” I asked.

“Why for to change into the fitting garments for the treatment, of course.”

I guess something had been decided without telling me about it. Nothing new there.

“I will explain at the proper moment. Now please go with the Krankenschwester, I haf much to prepare.”

Maybe I should have just left and risked Pabst’s displeasure, anger or whatever. But I didn’t. Looking around for Josefine, but not seeing her I just meekly followed Nurse Sigrid. I decided that I’d call her Ziggy in my mind. No connection to my old employer Flo Ziegfield intended, mind you. I just thought the name suited her.

Down another long hallway we went and up a small flight of stairs for a change. Ziggy stopped in front of a nondescript door and beckoned me inside. She followed.

The room, if you could call it that, wasn’t very large. In fact it was no more than a dressing and changing room. Ziggy pointed to the clothes hangers on the wall, “All clothes off, hanging on the wall.” she commanded. I almost saluted.

There was a white gown hanging in the corner. She took it and gave it to me, “Putting on for Herr Doktor.”

That was fairly simple to understand. I was to undress and put on the white cotton frock. It wasn’t very large, but I had worn less when dancing in the Follies. I started undressing and hoped the Krankenschwester would leave me alone, but no dice. She just stood waiting. I shrugged and started. Off with the jacket, blouse, skirt, stockings, shoes, garters. I was down to my knickers and brassiere and started to put the gown on.

“Nein, nein, alles auf,” Ziggy commanded, “All clothes off bitte.”

Well, fancy that. I gave her a face and was half of a mind to stick out my tongue, but didn’t. Well what was the big deal anyway I thought and slipped off my unmentionables. I turned around to face the nurse and gave her a good eyeful.

Now I didn’t really mind showing myself off naked. I mean, good grief, if you’re in showbiz you’re going to share dressing rooms anyway and better not be shy about it. Ziggy was ogling me though, obvious about it too and not one bit interested in my opinion. I decided to give her a treat and dropped the gown just before I slipped it over my shoulders. Turning my backside to her, I bent way over to retrieve the garment and spread my legs open for her inspection.

When I turned back around Ziggy was all smiles and patiently waited for me to put on the skimpy medical gown. It closed in the back, of all places and hardly came to mid thigh. I wondered what the idea was in the first place ? Embarrass a patient to death and hope she comes back for more ?

Once I had the silly thing on, we went though another door and entered a different kind of room for a change. No more dark gloomy old world wall paper and wainscoting. Nope, this was a well lit doctor’s examination room, with white enamel tiles on the wall and floor, large lamps on the ceilings, an array of cabinets, sinks, counters and other odd looking stuff.

Ziggy indicated that I sit on a padded table. I pulled myself up and lowered my bare behind onto the leather covering. It felt cold but soft and smooth.

I was leaning on my outstretched arms when the Herr Doktor entered the room. He was dressed in a white lab coat now and looked with satisfaction at me. “Sehr gut, Fraulein Brooks. If you will now please lay down on the back so I can continue the examination.”

Standing to one side of me, doctor Kitzsler told me to relax all my muscles and think of nothing. If that wasn’t possible then I was permitted to think of something nice. I ask you !

Anyway, thinking of something but I don’t think it was nice, I just closed my eyes while he conducted his further examination. I had to place my arms above my head while he groped around in my armpits, pushing and probing like he wanted to find a way into my esophagus. Lower down he fiddled around with my liver, spleen (?), my stomach area and really did his best on my lower belly. He briefly twiddled around with my breasts, squeezing a bit and generally getting a good feel but at least he was considerate enough not to give me the works. I was surprised that for all his pushing and probing he never really hurt me. He went deep if he could but without any injury.

“Now genädige Fraulein, I will conduct the intimate examination of the female parts. I will ask you to please relax and not to be alarmed. Nothing improper will be done.”

Well, I had expected that, it wasn’t the first time I had gone to a doctor for female ailments. He went over to a sink and washed his hands. At least he used a lot of soap and dried them off well. Meanwhile nurse Sigrid was fooling around with the table I was lying on. She attached a metal rod to each side of me. They both had a padded hook at the ending and I guessed that my legs were going to end up in those doctor’s stirrups.

I was right. Smiling Ziggy and the Herr Doktor each took a leg, hefted it up and set it in the padded u-holder. The skimpy gown was forced back over my stomach and there I was with my feminine parts exposed to the examination lights. The doctor put on a serious face as he started feeling around but he wasn’t fooling me. I bet he was enjoying every minute of it. So was Krankenschwester Sigrid, who had taken place at the head of the table and was rubbing my forehead. Ostensibly to help me relax. Applesauce !

Why she even ‘straightened‘ out my gown for the doctor, pulling it a little bit higher. The Herr Doktor had meanwhile started his examination. He felt around at first, once again starting with the squeezing and the probing, but that didn’t take too long. Using thumb and index finger he delicately spread my pussy open and wriggled a finger inside. He probed up and down, in and around, stuck in a second finger , spread me open wider and felt all there was to feel. He even knew enough to go to the top of my slit and uncover the little love bud. He brazenly pulled it free of it’s covering and rubbed it a bit, making it stiffen and making me feel distinctly odd. It wasn’t quite nice and it wasn’t quite bad. It was hard to say at that point what it was.

He stuck his finger back inside of my slit and pressed down with his other hand on my abdomen. Finally satisfied he withdrew his finger from inside of me. “Now there is the final aspect I must examine before I decide upon the treatment,” he announced.

Doctor Kitzsler took something from a bottle and spread it over his fingers. He asked the nurse to adjust the metal rods backwards and after my backside was forced up higher into the air he pressed his greased fingers up into my ‘final aspect.’

“Please to relax and breath deeply,” he commanded and with that he firmly stuck his middle finger up my asshole. He wriggled it around a little before shoving it in. I should have been prepared but he still half took me by surprise. Once in me he pushed it all the way in, feeling around, hooking his finger and twirling left and right.

I didn’t let out a yelp, but did give him a nasty look. Far from being embarrassed he gave me a very slight smile as if sticking his finger in a girl’s ass was something he did every day. Of course when I thought about it, I figured he probably did just that. And not just once a day either.

Now I thought that he couldn’t do anything much more outrageous than this, but oh boy was I ever wrong. Keeping one finger up my backdoor he inserted a second back into my slit and sort of rubbed them both together, feeling around inside of me. It was something different, I’ll grant you that, but it wasn’t all that awful as I would have thought. Actually after a while it felt sort of special, it didn’t really excite me but I did get just this teensy weenie little bit wet and I’m sure that the doctor noticed.

He finally withdrew both his fingers and allowed me to sit back up straight again. He went to wash his hands and while drying them off, came back to me.

“Fraulein Brooks, you may be assured, you are not suffering from any serious ailments, but you are not taking care of the physique either. Improper diet and irregularity sap your strength, weaken the inner muscles and organs and prohibit a harmonious working of the body. This is not a desirable situation and should be remedied. Ja ?”

I just nodded.

“You work hard, but must take more care of the body, have more rest, more sleep. I will give you treatment such as I give Herr Pabst and Fraulein Riefenstahl regularly. This will be for a first time and maybe not have great effect of reinvigoration. We shall see. This treatment is not hardship and can be agreeable.”

He turned to nurse Sigrid. “Wir werden der Zwilling brauchen in diesen Fall.”

She nodded and left. The doctor explained what he was going to do. “We must put you back on the road to harmony with the body. You are filled up with dangerous elements that inhibit proper working of physical processes. All of these wastes must be removed. Accumulation results in unhealthy tensions, compounded stress and build up of noxious humors. This is readily observable in females.” He stopped a moment and looked at me.

“Are you prone to hysterical disorders, Fraulein Brooks ?”

Now what kind of question was that, I ask you ? I had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn’t asking if I threw a tantrum every now and then. Which I didn’t, by the way.

“I don’t think so.” I answered. Truthfully too, since I didn’t know what he was getting at.

“Ach so, in any case I will give standard primary treatment for female patients : internal Abspulung und Reinigung and manual induction of hysterical paroxysm. If you prefer I can use electrical stimulant method in replacement.”

He looked at me expectantly. Clearly he wanted me to say something.

“Do you haf any preference Fraulein ?”

Preferences ? I didn’t even know what he was talking about. “No Doc,” I told him, “Just do the best you can.”

“Ausgescheignet !” he beamed. “I will give you best treatment, you may rest assured.”

Doctor Kitzsler had just finished his sales pitch to me, when I heard Nurse Sigrid enter the room. I turned around to look at her and saw she was pushing a metal trolley into the room. On it sat the darndest looking contraption I ever saw. It was made of shiny brass containers and valves, rubber tubes and clear glass receptacles. It didn’t look scary or anything, but I got a mighty funny feeling when I saw that thing.

Meanwhile, nurse Ziggy went over to the nearest sink and lit the hot water geyser. She used a pitcher to fill a large container attached to this apparatus. The doctor went over to the wall cabinets and came back with several small packages and bottles. He mixed up these things and put the results into various parts of his contraption. He added some water here and there, fiddled and fussed around with knobs and thing-a-ma-gigs, and generally looked very serious about what he was doing. Every now and then he consulted a book and nodded to himself.

When everything was finally to his liking he rolled the trolley over to the examination table.

“Perhaps the Fraulein would care to lay back down again, please ?” he told me. The nurse was standing to the other side of me already and taking hold of my shoulders, she slowly but firmly eased me onto my back again. Smiling they each grabbed one of my legs and positioned them in the stirrups. There I lay once again, spread wide open and wondering what was coming next.

“You are to relax Fraulein. This machine is the most modern to be manufactured. It has been designed with the patients comfort in mind foremost. There are several sizes of nozzle and I will fix a small size. The water is also regulated at body temperature and a steady pressure. I have added a gentle natural soap and essence of glycerin. In the second only a combination of rose and mint water.” He was beaming as he told me this, obviously very proud of himself.

Either I had missed something or was even more dumb than many folks thought me to be. “Herr Doktor,” I asked, “Just what are you going to do with all that sweet smelling water ?”

“Why Fraulein, that is for the washing, naturlich.”

“Huh uh. The washing of what ?”

“Why the washing and rinsing of the internal lower body. What else ?” he replied.

What else indeed ? “Now I don’t want to sound stupid or anything, but how are you going to go about that exactly ?”

“I will insert the nozzle into your lower opening and allow the water to flow into you.”

That’s when I finally got it. The Doc was going to give me a German version of a good ol’ Saturday Night Special. Of course he would never use anything out of a Sears and Roebuck catalog, no siree, no simple rubber bag and tube for him. This doctor had to have a big shiny brass and copper contraption made by a fancy factory like the Krupp Works or something. It looked like the equivalent of a Big Bertha. All that just to pour some water up my backdoor.

“Do you mean you’re going to give me an old fashioned enema ?”

“Ja, naturlich. This is why Herr Pabst has sent you to me for. For reinvigoration and cleansing through use of Klystier Pumpe, modern lavage pumping.”

“You could have told me a lot sooner.”

“I thought it was understood. You are familiar with the procedure ?”

Familiar ? You can’t grow up in Kansas without getting a ‘weekly’ to keep you ‘cleaned out’. Did he think we were ignorant down on the farm or what ?

“Oh sure,” I told him, “but we usually get ‘em in the bathroom from a rubber bag.”

“Ah yes, a simple and primitive method. This apparatus,” he explained proudly, “has been scientifically designed for maximum efficiency and versatile usage. It is used for double rinsing, which is why it is called Der Zwilling, the twins.”

I was halfway between being relieved and pissed off. The pompous old fart had to make something as simple as an enema sound like the most scientifically exacting of treatments. Probably just to charge more. Well, Pabst was paying for this anyhow, so that didn’t bother me. But was all this high falutin’ talk really necessary ?

“And this is going to make me feel better ?”

“Oh yes, it will be most beneficial. I haf many respectable patients and all are most pleased with the results.”

Oh boy, this guy must be a first class con-artist with a medical degree, I thought. But what the hey, here I was anyway, with a day off from work, and nothing better to do at the moment. Besides if it would make Pabst happy, why not ? And a good cleaning never did any harm. So I just shut up and let the doc get on with it.

He rolled the trolley with the contraption next to the examination table, but just a little behind my head. I had to twist around to see what was going on in back of me. The nurse saw me bend over and took hold of my head and shoulders, indicating I was to lay still and flat on my back.

Doctor Kitzsler saw this and reassured me there was nothing to be troubled about.

“It’s not that Doc,” I told him, “I’m just curious how you folks in Germany go about this. I always like to know what’s going to be stuck up into me.” No matter where, I added to myself.

“Ach so, in that case we will place the apparatus in view.”

He moved the trolley forward so I could watch him. He started off by attaching a nozzle to the red rubber tube connected to the main receptacle. It was slightly curved and made of a harder black rubber, with several holes along the tip. He greased it up well with some kind of oil or gooey liquid, until the entire shaft was covered. He took some of the same stuff, poured a large amount on his fingers and then came and stood between my spread legs while giving the prepared nozzle to nurse Sigrid to hold.

I felt his fingers pressing on my bumhole while he rubbed the goo all over me. Then in went a first finger. He pumped it in and out, spreading the grease all along my asshole, inside and outside. It felt sort of wet and runny, more than thick and greasy. All the while he kept telling me to relax, breath slowly and deeply, not to push back on his finger, just let it slide in and out ‘naturally’.

Now that was a good one : naturally !

I didn’t feel any discomfort, but then he pressed a second finger in along with the first. It was a hard fit and if I hadn’t been all greased up and stretched open already, I don’t think it would have fit. But he got it into me anyway. It stretched my poor little hole to the limit of just not quite feeling any pain, but beyond enjoying it either. Well maybe ‘enjoying’ is a rather strong word for it, but just between you and me, I’ve had fingers in there at times and some other things as well and when done right by a proper gentleman or lady, it can be very nice.

When he was finally convinced I was opened up sufficiently, he withdrew his sticky fingers and wiped them off on a towel nurse Ziggy thoughtfully provided. Then she handed him the nozzle and tube. The nurse stood to the other side of me and used her two hands to open up my buttocks, spreading my cheeks and stretching my bumhole tight. The Doc smiled at me, told me to relax (again) and put his left hand on my lower belly, just above the hair line and pushed down and upwards, stretching me tight in that direction as well. I felt the nozzle push up against my bottom and with a twirling motion he just slipped the whole thing right up into me, like it was nothing. Well, compared to his two busy little fingers the nozzle wasn’t all that big in the first place. He just pushed it into me and told the nurse to let go of my buttocks. The nozzle was much smaller at the end than at the tip, so it stayed nicely in place as my asshole muscles tightened around it. The doctor wriggled it to and fro just to make sure it would stay put and then let go.

“I shall now open the waterflow, Fraulein. Are you ready ? Please relax your sphincter and close your eyes.” He told me.

He turned a valve and then I felt the warm water entering me. It felt nice and pleasant. When I closed my eyes I could almost picture our old Kansas bathroom. I would get my cleanings either across my Mom’s lap or a bit later when I was older, kneeling in the bathtub. They never really hurt much, Mom never put too much soap in the water and took her time about things.

The Herr Doktor took his time about it too, massaging my belly from time to time, pushing into me with his fingertips, or the palm of his hand and working the water up into my intestine. He asked if it burned or was too hot but I truthfully told him that it felt just Jim Dandy. He said something to the nurse and she went off to fetch whatever he asked for. I haven’t any idea how much water he pumped up into me, but it must have been a decent amount, since I was beginning to feel pretty full. Also I was beginning to feel an urge to do something.

The nurse came back with a large flat metal pan. The Doc unlatched something under the table and I felt part of the table slide away from under me, leaving the end of my bottom suspended over the edge. Ziggy then slid the flat pan into a holder of some kind under my bottom. I looked up at the doctor and told him that I wasn’t going to use a bedpan like an old lady.

This caused him to smile. “Ach Fraulein, not to worry. This is not for expulsion of water, but to catch water from second tube.”

Second tube ? What was he talking about ?

“We are using the Twins, nicht wahr ? Now I use second nozzle to spray water on your sensitive areas helping to induce paroxysm. I haf decided it is best to use electrical stimulation combined with water agitation. It is a most pleasant and vivacious method.”

Well, knowing the Herr Doktor by now, I didn’t doubt it for a moment. Still I was wondering what all the electrical stuff had to do with this. He had the nurse close off the valve while he prepared another of those nifty little appliances of his. It was much smaller than the Twins thank goodness, and didn’t use any water either. It was the size of a bread box and had several wires attached to it. He opened a drawer and rummaged around for something and finally took out a flat wooden box. Opening it up he selected a curved metal probe. It was pretty large around if you asked me. The Doc didn’t, and I had a sneaky suspicion about where he was going to stick that thing. From the looks of it there were only two places in a girls body where it would fit, and I wasn’t here for any dental work.

He attached it to a thin wire, rubbed some of the slick goo over the metal tip and checked that the machine was plugged into an outlet. It started humming very softly. The Doc held the probe in one hand by the handle and then pressed a finger to the metal tip. He arched his brows up and nervously pulled his finger back, smiling from ear to ear. He switched something off and turned around to me.

“Fraulein Brooks, this will provide electrical stimulation for the Innerliche Geslechtsteil, the inner genital region. It is quite pleasant and relaxing. This should help provoke a most pleasing paroxysm, a beneficial flow of energy and vigor throughout the body. Ja ?” he told me.

I had expected that and wondered if I ought to have been outraged, utterly mortified or vividly eager. I guess he got all types. So I just replied with a ‘Ja’ in return.

I tried to act like I was totally disinterested in the proceedings and didn’t give a hoot. But by now I was getting a bit intrigued by Herr Doktor Kitzsler’s treatment and I wouldn’t be honest if I denied it, but yes, just a mite aroused as well. I know all of us Hollywood actresses are supposed to be oh so blasé about everything, but between you, me and the wall, I had never done anything with an electrical probe before. I had never even imagined it either, to tell the truth. It sounded much too dangerous, but I figured that a doctor, and a Kraut at that, ought to know what he was doing.

So instead of saying anything more, I just closed my eyes and really did my best to relax. The Doc didn’t say anything more, I just heard him come closer and take place between my legs. I felt his hand brush across my slit and with just a small touch of shame, I realized that I was getting wet. I don’t mean that any of the tubes were leaking water either. It was me and that little mouse between my legs that was off and running.

The Doc didn’t say anything, he just used two fingers to open me up a bit so he could slide that electrical probe up into my slit. It went in nice and easy, no trouble at all and fit just nicely. It was just a tad too cool for my liking at first, but before long it heated up just fine.

So there I lay, legs spread open wide and high, a small cotton smock covering my breasts and not much more, an enema nozzle stuck in my bumhole, my belly full of water and soap, my pussy filled up with a metal plug and about to be electrified. This was going to be a memorable first for little ol’ me, that was for sure.

But just when I thought there were no more surprises in store for me, danged if the Doc didn’t spring another one. I expected him to tell me to relax, just like he had been doing ever since I got here. But no, he had one last gadget he was going to hook up before he turned on the juice. I opened up my eyes and saw him fiddling around with the large apparatus. He was hooking up another rubber tube to some valve or other and attached an odd looking nozzle to it.

Now where in the world was he going to stick that thing, I wondered ? It didn’t look all that big and the ending was flat and full of small holes, not rounded at the tip. I still had a mouth, a nose and two ears left, but somehow it didn’t seem like Herr Doktor Kitzsler’s style to stick anything in those.

He finally surprised me. “Fraulein Brooks, this is the last attachment I will ready before commencing the treatment. This is small nozzle spray for stimulation. It will force sweet scented water out in a fine stream onto your clitoris. Together with the electrical agitation of the inner genitals this will produce a powerful and soothing paroxysm. Combined with the intestinal lavage it should help rejuvenate and invigorate. Ja ?”

Was he asking me or telling me ? I had to hand it to him, this was some setup.

I was ready and really intrigued by now. But the funny thing was that just before he started the final part of the treatment I suddenly wondered how Herr Pabst got his therapy. After all, he was a hole shy of what I had, if you know what I mean. I had a sneaking suspicion that nurse Sigrid played a bigger role in Herr Pabst’s sessions than with me. I was trying to imagine a neat setup when the Doc turned open the final water valve and started spraying my little love bud.

Who-wee, that sure felt good ! He shot the water in a tight circle of small streams along the upper part of my slit. He then used two fingers to open me up and expose my little nodule to the gushing water. It was like a shock ! I tried to pull away backwards but couldn’t move out of the way of the water geyser. Doctor Kitzsler followed my movements anyway, now and then rubbing me gently or giving my clit a little pinch. Then I heard him say something to the nurse and all of a sudden I felt the electric current buzzing and tickling inside of me. It started out slow and easy-like, but the nurse must have gradually increased the voltage so that I was soon experiencing waves of the most delicious feelings possible. They seemed to flow in and out of me, causing my pussy to contract and expand in rhythm to the pulses of electricity. Meanwhile the water stream was caressing my pleasure bud with hot pin pricks of scented water and my bottom was plugged up with an enema nozzle and a few quarts of water. God, I thought I was going to die of pleasure !

Now if all that wasn’t enough, nurse Sigrid took hold of my shoulders and slowly worked her way lower, under my gown, until she had both my stiff nipples between her fingers. She kneaded them, teased and pulled to the left and right. I must have been moaning aloud by then I guess, and I was certainly moving my head to and fro, eyes closed, teeth clenched together. My hands were taut, stretched out by my side and I had trouble keeping my hips still. This was just absolutely too much. I couldn’t hold it any longer and as those delicious little waves of pleasure radiated out from my slit and love bud, I let go and shuddered all along my body, shaking and pumping my hips up and down, saying ‘Yes, yes, yes’ and moaning and groaning. Maybe it wasn’t dignified in the presence of other non-participants in the game of sex, but I just couldn’t help myself. And besides, this was the point of the whole treatment to begin with. No one was fooling me, certainly no German doctor.

I calmed down, breathing deeply while I felt the current diminishing in the probe and the water spray being turned off. The Doctor removed the electrical conductor before he pulled out the enema nozzle. I was sopping wet between my legs of course, both from the water spray and my own excitation not to mention the perspiration that I had worked up from an honest measure of good old fashioned lust. I felt great. Truly and well invigorated like never before after a good fucking. Mostly I am drowsy afterwards and lethargic. I long for a smoke or some sleep, but not now.

Both left me alone for some minutes to compose myself. The nurse draped a large towel over me, not I daresay for reasons of modesty, but I suppose to prevent me from catching cold. I was still so flushed and heated that I doubted it was necessary, but was grateful nonetheless.

I slowly regained control over my composure, a little disorientated still, but clear and light- headed. Doctor Kitzsler had put away most of the instruments by then and nurse Sigrid was cleaning the equipment. The doctor asked me how I felt and I replied that I felt quite wonderful and full of energy. I was still full of water but remarkably had not lost control of my bowels in the heat of my passion. I felt the urge to expel certainly, but it was not an insurmountable reflex thankfully.

By now several minutes had passed and the Doctor removed my legs from the stirrups. They were cramped and stiff from remaining in that posture for so long and I stretched them out and flexed them several times until I could sit up and get off the table. Nurse Sigrid led me to a water convenience where she left me alone to evacuate my bowels. It wasn’t enough that I had experienced such powerful sexual spasms and paroxysms a short while ago. That was followed by an equally fulfilling discharge of water and wastes, the likes of which I had not endured since my adolescence and childhood.

When I was finished in the water closet, Doctor Kitzsler had already left the room. Nurse Sigrid stood smiling, ready with a warm bath robe for me. She took me to a bathroom, drew a nice hot bath, added some oils and scents and let me soak for a while in the soothing warmth.

Finished drying off, I was led back to the changing room and allowed to dress. Instead of seeing Doctor Kitzsler before leaving, I was shown to the reception room where Josefine was waiting for me. The secretary informed me that everything was taken care of and to feel free to make an appointment any time in the future I cared.

And you know what ? I did.


Aside from Herr Doktor Kitzsler, Nurse Sigrid and his staff, all the characters in this story are real. Of course the story is totally and entirely fabricated, absolutely false and fictional and has no bearing upon the persons therein depicted. I hope that you will be mature enough to take this tale with an indispensable amount of light heartedness, the customary grain of salt and an essential dose of irreverence. Everything is meant to be taken in fun and jest. I have tried to add a spirit of comedy and slight incredibility into what otherwise might have been just a mildly arousing bit of erotica, if even that. Nothing is meant to be taken seriously though I have borrowed a little bit from history.

Many of you will have recognized Louise Brooks, the silent screen actress and Ziegfield Follies dancer. I have used her in this immodest little tale, half in jest and half in admiration. For me she has truly been the model of beauty ever since my teens when I made her acquaintance in her Italian reincarnation as comic strip heroine Valentina. Later on I saw several of her films : Pandora’s Box, Diary of a Lost Girl and Prix de Beauté. Even though silent movies, they are masterpieces all, sublime tales of love and desire. Anyone interested in the person of Louise Brooks, as actress or as beauty is invited to visit the Louise Brooks Home Page for a first acquaintance.

Modestly, I further add that the Doctor Kitzsler featured here is of course the father of the good doctor Sigrid Kitzsler of post war fame. Is there a special reason that the doctor’s assistant nurse is also named Sigrid ? Most likely there is, but I am not yet quite sure what that reason will turn out to be. In any case, the Doctor’s daughter was just born when this story takes place. Both father and daughter are gifted and talented, if somewhat unconventional, physicians, gynecologists and sexologists.

You may also have recognized the apparatus that Doctor K. uses in his Gesundheidsklinikum. Somehow or other it turns up later in a small clinic in the US and is successfully put back to use by a pair of charming female doctors. For that story see ‘The Apparatus’. There is some uncertainty as to the exact nature of the apparatus, but rest assured. The elder Doctor Kitzsler ingeniously redesigned an already existing medical device for use as a dual enema machine.

I have tried to use an appropriate language for a story set in the Roaring Twenties. I haven’t knowingly used any modern day slang, but if I am mistaken, please feel free to point it out.

I used several passages from Louise Brooks’ book : ‘Lulu in Hollywood’ (1982). From chapter 7, ‘Pabst and Lulu’, I have used several sentences verbatim in the opening paragraph of this story. Louise Brooks maid, Josefine Muller was a real person, as was the German director G.W. Pabst. Leni Riefenstahl, at the time actress and later film director did visit the set of Pandora’s Box while Miss Brooks was filming.

I am extremely appalled that Herr Doktor Kitzsler had his Klinikum in Prinz Albrechtsstrasse 7, right next to later Gestapo Headquarters in Berlin. I am sure that this is just an amazing coincidence and can be reasonably explained in a mature fashion, somehow or other.

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  • Ausgescheignet : outstanding
  • Krankenschwester : nurse
  • Der Zwilling : twins
  • Gesundheitsklinikum : Health clinic
  • Therapiezentrum : therapy center
  • Lassen Sie uns allein bitte : leave us alone please
  • nicht wahr ? : isn’t it so ?
  • Zu befehl : yes sir / I will obey your orders
  • genädige Fraulein : dear Miss
  • Wir werden der Zwilling brauchen in diesen Fall : we’ll use the twins in this case
  • Abspulung und Reinigung : rinse and cleaning
  • naturlich : of course