The Chiropractor's Solution

By Anonymous

The visit to the chiropractor’s office had been made necessary when a nerve pinch in the lower back started to make it feel as if the whole leg were on fire. At first it was merely a nuisance, then as the day wore on it became more clear that some sort of adjustment had to be made. The cool air reminded him that his clothing had been exchanged for a pair of loose fitting trunks to facilitate access to the lower back region. A young woman re-entered the room and asked a few basic questions as she led him so that he would be face first to the table that was elevated in front of him.

“On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your level of pain today ?” she asked while reviewing his folder.

“A three, I suppose.” Anything higher than a five, in his opinion, would mean that he couldn’t move enough to work or drive. He had experienced seven or so only a few times in his life. No, this was only a mild irritation by comparison. “Yea, about a three.”

He stood on the foot board of the table while in its upright position, grabbing the two hand pads, becoming one with the device as his chest pressed itself onto the adjustable surfaces of the table. The whole thing lowered itself horizontally so that he now lay face down. The young woman pulled the elastic band of his shorts down so that she could place the electrode patches strategically. He was glad that his face was buried so that she could not see it as flashes of his childhood rushed through his mind, thoughts of being exposed and helpless. He lay on the leather table while the familiar buzz from the electrodes rippled and jolted the muscles along his back. It often felt as if his body were rocking back and forth; all the while knowing that it was some kind of mind trick that his inner ear played on him while his eyes were closed and his face rested firmly in the folds of the table. He tried to think of something pleasant, forgetting about the electrically imposed stimulation.

Ten minutes had passed and the timer automatically turned off; a soft audible beep made its way out of the room and down the hall to alert the attendant. He lay there, as if asleep and not wishing to have the covers removed for a few extra moments; waiting for the young woman to remove the sticky electrodes. Her hands lifted the fabric of his shorts and deftly removed the square edged patches. He wondered if she noticed that he clenched himself tighter as a defense to the intrusion. He was inhibited about certain aspects of his anatomy. His imagination had made more out of the simple treatment as he tried to breathe normally.

“The Doctor will be with you shortly.” She left the room while his face remained buried, in that way he would not know which one of the attendants had been working on him and it would be easier to absorb the loss of modesty.

“So, you must have had a slow day yesterday with your back as swollen as this ?”The Doctor’s voice was pleasant while at the same time being inquisitive. For a small framed person she exhibited a great deal of confidence. He thought of Anna and the King of Siam for some reason. Maybe she came off that way to bolster her own image, while whistling her tune so to speak. She immediately worked her hands down the center of his back. “Did you miss out on much work ?” She knew that he owned his own business.

“Not really. I’d have come in yesterday when it was really hurting except that I was very busy.”

He had done two days worth of work in six hours; making up for the previous day which had been depressingly slow. “I suppose all the time I was busy helped me to ignore that I was having this nerve pinching on me.” He talked even more, rambling on, as his anxiousness surfaced. He always talked more when he was in an awkward situation. Her hands glided downward and below the elastic banding of the shorts. The nerve endings in the deep muscle were already agitated and he flinched as her hands pressed down.

“You’re no three.”, referring to the scale of one to ten. “Four, maybe five. “She had been working with him for several months and knew that his tolerance level to pain sometimes worked against him. He would ignore a minor problem until it became so inflamed that he had no choice. “Have you taken anything for the pain? “

“Just some Ibuprofen a few hours ago. I only take the pain killer at night or on the weekends. I can’t drive or think too clearly when use that stuff.” He knew better than to leave the confines of his house when it got that bad.

“Relax and breathe out.” Her arms cradled his head as she felt for the perfect positioning.

“Crack.” His neck released some of the stored tension as she took up her place on the opposite side. “Crack.”

She hit one of the foot peddles and the table began to rise upward. “Now turn towards me.” There was a routine which she followed as each area of his back was adjusted according to whatever it was that she felt during the examination. “Okay, now straddle in the middle.”

“I hate this part.” He muttered as he mounted the table much like he would a horse.

“Hands behind your head.” She sat down behind him. “Lean back into me.”

“Kind of reminds me of those cop shows.” he laughed. “You gonna read me my rights?” He didn’t like the idea of his back being popped.

“Arch your back.” feeling the shift of his weight.

“Pop ! “He rotated his head upon his shoulders as if that would help; mostly to reassure himself that it was all still in one piece.

“Is that it for the day ?” asking so that he might know when to put his street clothes back on.

“No, follow me and let’s see if the stretching table and some ultra sound helps.” He had never been on that table as visions flooded his mind; visions of some dark dungeon with various kinds of torture equipment. His steps were smaller than usual as the pinched nerve made him uncertain of how well his knee was working.

“Oh, it won’t be that bad.” She teased him; her voice reassured him that she would not do anything to hurt him. It was like she had called him a big baby or some such dare as she had him lay face down once more. He thought about a James Bond movie as a strapping belt was cinched across his back and then again near his ankles.

“Mrummphh.” sarcastically as the retired rodeo bull slowly came alive.

“I’ll get some ultra sound on that area in a few minutes. Try to relax.”

“Yes Ma’am.” It really was not at all like the mechanical bull ride; in fact it was rather soothing. It was the same sensation that he had when the table was stationary only now the table indeed was rolling him back and forth. A few moments went by and he heard the young woman enter.

“Is that bothering you, the rolling motion?” He had mentioned the interesting phenomenon that would accompany his treatment sessions.

“So far so good.” He said with a light laugh in his voice.

“I don’t get it.” as if he had told most of the joke and she had not heard it.

“That’s what the secretary on the twentieth floor heard as the man sailed past her window. It’s also what my accountant tells me when I ask him how my income tax is coming along.”

Once more he felt the tug on his shorts, this time the area of exposure seemed even greater. A splurt of gel landed on the flat of his backside and then another.

“That stuff’s pretty cold; I’m sorry,” he said spreading the thick goo around while holding he material of his shorts out of the way. He felt the smooth end of the ultra sound wand as it made small circles on his skin. Mostly he felt the blood rushing to his cheeks.

“This reminds me of when I was a kid at the grocery store on one of those rides, the kind that are out on the side walk. You put a quarter in the little airplane and fly around in a circle for a couple of minutes. I don’t remember having to take off my clothes for them.”, trying to relate his relative shyness while the young woman wiped off the goo and returned his shorts to their up right position prior to his landing.

“That should do it for today. When you get changed you will want to set up another appointment.” The young lady left the room. He had survived another trip to the chiropractor, more or less. He walked to the front counter where it was time to pull out the plastic card and pay for the visit. The doctor was standing at the other end of the counter writing a few notes in his folder as he signed the charge account receipt. He was about to wave good-bye to them both when she stopped what she was doing and came closer so that she could talk.

“Before you leave; I wanted to ask, I suppose it slipped my mind a while ago. Are you having regular bowel movements? “The question hung in the air as if from the gondola of the Goodyear blimp. He felt a rush of blood and found it hard to breathe once more as he looked over to the secretary who acted as if nothing at all was wrong. “A lot of times when one of my patients has severe spasms of the lower back muscles it either is a result of constipation or causes it.”

The doctor continued her line of thought. “If you have a problem going to the bathroom; don’t hurt yourself by trying to push too hard. It will only aggravate your back.”

He could only look sheepishly at his feet while the one sided dialogue continued. “We can give you a series of enemas here in one of our treatment rooms.” She observed him closely as he tried to hide within himself. “Or you can do it yourself when you get home.”

She reached into a file drawer and pulled out a pre-printed information sheet and folded it as if it were a business letter to be placed in an envelope. She placed it on the counter in front of him and with her pen guiding his attention, marked off several of the paragraphs for him to read. “Here, follow these instructions and I’ll see you on Friday.” She made sure to place the paper into his hand and wait for him to acknowledge in some way.

“Yes ma’am, hummph.” He said clearing his throat and trying to act close to normal.

“If you don’t have any of the items on the list they can easily be found at any good pharmacy.”

He nodded his head and took another breath of air.

“V.B., here’s your appointment card for Friday at 7:30AM. I know how you always want this to remind you.” The secretary handed him the business card size form. He didn’t want to look at her after having her within ear shot of the last few minutes of conversation. He held out his hand and the card somehow managed to be there at the same moment. When he left the office he walked to his truck and sat quietly for a while, wondering how to feel. It seemed so embarrassing that he had no idea of how he should react. He started the motor and drove the short distance home.

“How’d your appointment go with the chiropractor dear ?” His wife asked as he walked in the door. She knew that he had been tossing and turning all night. “So, what did the doctor say about your back? “He walked to the kitchen sink where she was just finishing the last of the morning dishes. He handed her the piece of paper and watched as she read the information. The blood rushed back to his cheeks as the words on the paper reverberated in his mind. She looked at him and without another word took him by the hand and walked him to the bathroom area.

“I can hold off any of your calls for at least an hour; that should give us enough time, don’t you think? “It was only 8:30 and most of his calls never came before 10:00. He nodded as she was already taking the familiar red water bottle from off the bar in the shower. She read the instructions while at the same time following the words on the paper with her finger tip. “I think we have some lemon juice in the pantry,” she said talking to herself out loud. “Well, don’t just stand there; get out of those clothes and into the tub.”

She smiled at him as he was still waiting in the door way of the bathroom. “Come on now.” Her eyebrows blinked upwards to accent the thought. He let his trousers fall to the floor around his ankles and then with one motion kicked them to the base of the clothes hamper. Leaning against the edge of the sink he was able to remove his socks. His back was swollen all the way around his mid section. When the last piece of clothing landed on the pile he stepped into the tub and waited for further instructions. She returned holding a bottle of lemon juice which she measured out and poured into the opening of the bag; swishing it around to hear the sound it made.

“According to this you need to get down on all fours; well? “He was reluctant to assume the position. She patted him gently on the fanny as he slowly found his way to his knees. “It said to use Vitamin E oil instead of petroleum jelly.” She said as she reached over to the vanity for it. She started to dip the end of her finger to the top of the bottle, then instead tilted the bottle with her finger acting as a stopper so that a liberal amount fell onto the target. Without hesitating she rubbed the oil around the opening so that it coated the entire area, inside and out. He rolled his eyes into his head as her finger tip teased the sensitive nerve endings, not to mention one of his deepest fantasies.

“I think you have enough on there now.” He was enjoying the special attention that she was giving him while at the same time he was relieved that the doctor had not insisted upon administering the enema treatment.

“Who’s doing this, me or you? “There was a hint of superiority in her voice as she pushed her finger deeper into him. “I think your doctor was right, nothing but rocks in there.” She said withdrawing her finger and letting the running water rinse it off.

“That should be about right.” She said feeling the temperature of the water as it mixed with the lemon juice at the bottom of the bag. It gurgled to the top and she screwed the end of the hose on, letting the mixture flow out just enough to push out all the air. “Okay, now relax a little so I can get this into you.”

The long plastic nozzle then eased its way past the tight ring of muscles as she twisted it slightly. She didn’t want to push it in too far; not with all those rocks packed so tight. The clamp clicked open and the lemonade slowly made an attempt to go in. Only half the bag went in before he started to cramp.

“I can’t take any more right now.” He was shifting his weight from side to side as she held the end of the hose into him. “Shut it off for a while.” It was more like a pleading as the solution tried to go back the other way.

“No, the instructions say that you are to take all of it and then hold it for as long as you can; ten to fifteen minutes.” Then she reached under and felt his swollen shaft that had come to life. “What have we here? “ His wife said running her finger softly across the flat tight skin that now had been dripping its own slick juice. He could say nothing as she swirled the clear thick juice around the head of his penis. “If you are a very good boy we can find some time for that too.” She smiled as the last of the bag drained out. “That’s all of it. Now hold it for as long as you can so it can do what its supposed to do.”

She held the nozzle inside for him to grip onto. After only five minutes it became all to clear that it was time to explode. “I’ll leave you alone for a while. When you’re done I want you to clean up after yourself. It says here that I have to rinse you out with clear water at least once.”

She pulled the shower curtain closed and left him to expel the enema. It took several minutes to work itself out. It was not a pretty sight as it splashed into the tub and down the drain. After a few minutes he felt much better. He began to shower, starting with his hair and working down. As he moved about, his insides found portions that had gotten trapped in the folds or blocked behind the more compact stuff. It made it out eventually and he finished his shower. The curtain opened and she stood there on the other side wearing her nurse’s uniform.

“I thought you would like this.” She said turning a little to show off her slimmer body. She had been holding to a strict diet for several months along and walking each day. It had paid healthy dividends. “Okay, back down on your knees so I can rinse you out.”

She took the bottle of Vitamin E oil once more and let it drip onto him. The shower along with the first enema had cleaned him almost to the point of being raw. The oil felt very nice as she worked it into him the second time. She was glad that he had done such a good job of showering off. The nozzle slid in effortlessly this time and the water emptied into him without the need to pause. She grasped him around the thick trunk of his shaft and rolled the end of her fingers all around the head of his penis until large drops of fluid were now covering the entire head.

“Oh my, you’re dripping all over.” She scolded him with a smile. “You better finish in here so I can put that to use.”

With that she pulled the edge of the uniform up so that he could see that she had nothing on under it. “Don’t make your nursy wait or you know what happens.”