…… PART ONE ……..
A young (college-age) lady, in jeans and t-shirt, is in the colds/flu/fever aisle of the drugstore. She’s staring at a display of thermometers in confusion. She’s quite attractive, although her face is flushed and she looks unhappy.
An older man (looking suspiciously like me) comes down the aisle. Glancing at the girl, he says, in a sympathetic tone, “Flu season got you, eh?”.
“I’ve got something or other, I feel like crap.”
“Been to a doctor?”
“No, Student Health said if it’s flu, there’s nothing they can do except over-the-counter stuff, and don’t worry about it unless I’m over 103 degrees. So I’ve got to take my temperature…”
“And this mass of different thermometers can be confusing…”
“Yes! My mom just took me to the doc if I ‘felt hot’, and they used one of those ear things, or an electronic one. Those are way too expensive, but I don’t even know how to use a glass one. And those are supposed to be dangerous because of the mercury.”
“Actually, they’re not that dangerous. Just don’t bite down if you’re using an oral thermometer. A rectal one, of course, doesn’t have that problem at all.”
Older guy reaches for a rectal thermo. “Speaking of which, that’s what I need - a neighbor borrowed the one from my first-aid kit for her daughter, and dropped it.”
Grinning ruefully, “Should have taken her temperature in bed, instead of the bathroom.”
She reaches up and gets a rectal thermometer herself. “That makes sense. Well, if these are safe for kids, I’d better go with this one.”
“Well, in that case, you’ll need a tube of K-Y jelly, as well.” He hands her one.
“Why’s that? What’s K-Y jelly?”
He turns the box in her hand, showing the directions-and-uses panel. “See? ‘…and rectal thermometers…’”
She nods in understanding. “Oh. Ok. But what if my fever’s not high enough for Student Health? I still feel awful.”
“Hm,” he says, “What kind of symptoms are you having? Sniffles, coughing, …?”
“No, I’m just feverish, my head hurts, and my stomach’s queasy. Kind of like if I try to eat, I’ll throw up.”
“Okay - there’s some over-the-counter stuff called Emetrol that’ll settle your stomach. The fever’s easy - you’ll want Tylenol, since you’re still young enough that you don’t want aspirin.”
“I can’t take Tylenols with my stomach this way - I’ll throw them up!”
“Well, there’s another form of that medication, that won’t tear up your stomach. You’re already going to take your temperature rectally. Would you have a problem with taking Tylenol that way?”
“No, I guess not. You mean I can quit living with headaches and stuff?”
“Sure thing. We’ll get you a bottle of Emetrol and a pack of Tylenol suppositories, and you’ll be set.”
They go to the pharmacy counter at the back. The man waves for the pharmacist’s attention. She’s a middle-aged lady. “Can I help you?”, she says.
“Do you carry Emetrol? The lady here has that stomach flu that’s going around.”
“Yes. Oh, you poor thing, you look like you’re miserable. And I can tell you’re feverish even without that thermometer.”
The girl responds, “I am, and my head hurts.”
The older guy chimes in with, “Speaking of which, tylenol upsets her stomach. Do you carry adult-size acetaminophen suppositories? Either 325 or 650 mg, I think.”
“Yes - We’ve got the 325s.”
“Perfect. How many to a box?”
“Twelve or twenty-four. What size do you want?”
“Twenty-four.” Turning to the girl. “If you’ve got leftovers, save ‘em for the morning after your next big party weekend.” Smiling. “They’re faster than pills, and you’ve probably already noticed what a hangover does to your stomach.”
She shudders. “Yes - some guy got me drunk, so I’d ‘put out’ for him. I wouldn’t, though. All I did was throw up on him.”
The older folks exchange knowing grins…
The clerk rings up his thermometer while the pharmacist is hunting for the girl’s meds. When hers is rung up, she’s a bit dismayed at the cost. The man offers to pay. She protests.
“I can’t let you do that!”
Handing the clerk the money, “Of course you can. I’m an ex-Boy Scout. Think of it as my good deed for the day. Or piling up good karma.”
“All right. Thank you SO much! I’m sure I’ll feel better right away.”
“You’re welcome.” Pocketing his bag, handing the girl hers. “Did you walk?”
“Yes, from Greentree Apartments.”
“I’ll give you a ride. Come on.”
They get in his car. As he pulls out, he asks, “Do you know how to take your temperature rectally?”
“No, I don’t even know how to read the thermometer.”
“Well, if you want, I can show you at your place. I don’t have to be anywhere this afternoon.”
……. PART TWO ……
The man and girl arrive at her place and go in. It’s a typical college-student apartment - books all over the place, computer set up in the corner. The texts all seem to be liberal-arts stuff.
He looks around. “Do you want to go in the bedroom, or close the drapes and check your temp on the couch?”
She looks puzzled. “Close the drapes? Why?”
He thinks for a moment. “Umm, do you know what ‘rectal’ means? Didn’t you get that in health ed?”
“No, I was homeschooled. Mom concentrated on literature, math, and some Bible studies. They pulled me out in 7th grade because they were mad about Sex Ed.”
He nods. “Ah, I se…. Well, why don’t we get your stomach settled first, and then go over the instructions for the thermometer step-by-step.”
He pours a shot of Emetrol, and goes to get her a glass of water in the kitchen. She chugs the stuff, makes a face, and drinks the water. She sits for a moment, then smiles.
“Wow. That stuff really works! My stomach’s already better. I did need the water, though.”
“Yah - it’s basically soft-drink syrup, only concentrated. Grab the thermometer, and we’ll go over the instructions. It’ll probably tell how to take a kid’s temp, but adult’s not that different.”
He pops open the thermometer package, and hands her the instructions. She starts reading.
“Wash the thermometer with soap and cold water, then disinfect with alcohol.”
“Don’t need that, it’s brand new. What’s next?”
“Grasping the thermometer at the end away from the bulb, shake it down with several sharp snaps of the wrist, until the mercury is below 96 degrees.”
He demonstrates, then has her do it. Once both have shaken it, he shows her how to look for the mercury column. She goes back to the directions.
“‘Coat the bulb with a water-soluble lubricant, such as KY jelly.’ Oh! You were right!”
Their hands bump as they both reach for the tube of KY. She looks over and giggles shyly. He hands it over with a flourish, and she gets the tube out of the box. He shows her how to puncture the tamper seal, and get the flip-cap back on. Finally, he holds the thermometer up horizontally, so she can squeeze a dollop of KY onto the bulb.
Twirling the thermo back and forth to keep the KY from dripping off, he asks, “What’s next?”
She frowns. “‘Position the child across your lap on her stomach, buttocks elevated and legs dangling. Unfasten her diaper or pants.’ That sounds weird.”
“Don’t worry, it’s a standard medical procedure. For an adult, the patient usually lies on her side, with knees pulled up. We can do it that way - I’ll pull the coffee table out of the way and get a chair from the kitchen.”
“I-I guess I can do it this way. You want me over your lap, on my tummy?”
“Yes, and you’ll need to pull your jeans and panties down.”
She turns bright red, and looks away as she gets up and into position. He guides her so she’ll have her head facing his left, and points to her belt buckle, then down.
She stammers a bit “B-but…”
He looks stern. “Now, young lady, this is for your own good. My suggestion worked for your stomach, didn’t it?”
“You want to make sure that fever isn’t an emergency, don’t you?”
“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit. Now lower your jeans and panties, lie down, and read me the next step.”
She slides her jeans and panties down to mid-thigh, and clutching the instructions, lies across his lap.
“G-gently insert the bulb of the thermometer 1/2 inch into the rectum. Stop if you feel any resistanc… OH!”
The last gasp comes as he suits action to words. Easing it in a bit further, he says, “Actually, for an adult you want it a little deeper. That didn’t hurt now, did it?”
“N-noooo, it’s just cold - and feels kind of weird.”
“Okay - I’m going to put it in just a little more…” Twirling side-to-side, he eases it in deeper. She giggles a bit.
“Oooh, that tickled, kind of.”
“That happens. What’s next?”
“Cup the child’s buttocks with the thermometer between your fingers, holding it in place for three minutes.” He does, giving an occasional squeeze.
She looks up from the directions. “How come you know so much? Are you a doctor?”
He chuckles. “Not hardly. You’re the first person I’ve ever met who DIDN’T know about rectal temperatures. Your mom must’ve figured that health courses would be “dirty” too.”
“She did. Is it time yet?”
“Just about…” She quivers and giggles a bit as he twirls the thermometer back and forth while removing it. He wipes it off with a Kleenex from the stand. He looks at the reading, then shows her.
“See? Right there between 100 and 102?”
“Yes - there’s a lot of little marks. And a big one.”
“Okay - see where it’s two little ones past the big one?”
“The big mark’s halfway between 100 and 102, so that’s 101. Each little mark is .2, so your temperature is 101.4.”
“Oh, I see! So I don’t have to go to Student Health. I’ve still got a headache, though.”
“That’s next. Hold still…” He leans across her buns, and gets the suppositories. He hands her the directions, keeping a strip of supps in hand. “What’s it say?”
“Dosage - Children age 6-12, one suppository. Adults, two suppositories. Repeat every 4 hours as needed.”
“Unwrap one or two suppositories.” He does.
“Moisten the tip with water to lubricate.”
“Don’t need that, your bottom’s lubricated from the temperature.”
“Good, I don’t want to get up.” This draws a raised eyebrow from him.
“Insert suppository deeply in rectum, holding in place with finger until the urge to expell passes.”
He puts the tip of the first one to her anus, then slowly, wiggling his finger a bit, buries it. Her eyes widen as the finger stretches her bottom a bit. Then, it’s out and he puts in the second.
“Theeere, that doesn’t feel bad, does it?”
“N-no.. kind of, nice, even…”
“Okay - now, let me know when you stop having that ‘got to go’ feeling…”
“All right… Can I ask something?”
“Is it, ah, normal to feel something funny up front when you get a suppository or temperature?”
This is definitely an eye-opener for him. “Why, yes. Happens quite a bit, in fact. Are you feeling something?”
“Yessss, kind of a tingling…”
He lets a spare finger slide downward, lightly touching her clit. “Here?”
“Okay - relax, grab the pillow, and I’ll show you how nice it can get…”
He begins stroking a finger in and out of her anus, and rubbing her clit. He explores a bit around the vaginal opening, mutters “Virgin” to himself, and sticks with clit and anus. Meanwhile, she’s going ballistic, bouncing right off his lap. She finally comes, screaming into the pillow. He removes and wipes fingers, then looks down at her.
“How was that - fun?”
She gets up on her knees, turn towards him, and grabs neck for a passionate kiss. He cuddles her, stroking buns…
Several possible endings occur, depending on your druthers.
Segue’ to blowjob or JO - least fave…
Teaching her about anal sex - fun without losing virginity - possibilities…
Or, another hug and kiss as he heads for the door, promising to be back when it’s for her next temp and suppositories.
She says “Bye ‘till then… and you’re going to show me that ‘enema’ thing you talked about?”…