Imagine If It Were You...

You are a nurse, and work at a teaching hospital, side by side with many doctors, interns, nurses, students, and volunteers. You are well loved by all who know you, and the fact that you are painfully shy further endears you to those who you work with.

Life is as usual, until one day you feel a cramping on your side. It will go away. Right?…Wrong…

It is getting worse and worse, you feel your temperature rising. You are having the chills. You know you have to go, but you will just die if you have to be examined! Finally, you have no choice. You choose to go to someone new in town, but very good from what you understand. That’s good. How can you go to a doctor who knows you ? Oh my goodness, no way!

You are in the office, the nurse senses your distress. She takes you in the examining room, and asks you to take off all you have on but for your underpants. She gives you a hospital gown, and tells you to put in on with the opening in the back.

You do this, hear some whispering out in the hall, and think you hear a familiar voice. But you never met this doctor, right?

Wrong! In he comes, not only do you know him, but you had a slight crush on him…And he recognizes you right away, sits on the rolling stool, comes closer to the table and begins asking you questions. You want to leave. What is HE doing here? You motion to get up, he puts his very large hand on your knee and asks you.. “What seems to be the trouble ?”

You reply…”What are you doing here?”

He says, with that smile and wonderful deep sandy voice…”I am helping out.”

“But Dr., I can’t have you examine me! Besides, I am feeling better.”

He sees right through you. “C’mon, don’t be afraid. You know that I will take very good care of you.”

“But doctor”, you pleaded.

“Not another word.” he said.

“I have a pain.”

“Can you show me where?”

“Over here.”

“Hmmmm…. Let me ask you a few more questions before we begin.”

He goes through a series of questions including past history, height, weight, current medications, allergies, and so on. Then, he gets up, puts the clipboard down, and goes to the intercom pressing the buzzer. He calls the nurse in and asks you to lie down on your back. The nurse comes in, the door is left slightly ajar. You don’t notice this right away even though you are still sitting up. The table is sideways and to your left. He is standing to your right.

The doctor begins by looking in to your eyes, ears and throat. His large hands softly touch both sides of your neck and work all the way down to your shoulders. Then he takes a stethoscope, and asks you to breath deeply. In……Out…..In……Out…..

Oh, he forgot one thing. You have to sign a permission slip. Just routine. You are in such a state, you sign it without reading it. Anyway, he is beginning to help you relax, and thinking that the exam is almost over, you don’t want to take up any time reading a very long form…

“Nurse, please get me a rectal thermometer….”

“What!!! Oh no, please.” You just can’t have him look at your anus.

“Lie down on your belly please spread your legs slightly, and point your toes in. Try to relax.” You are speechless. Horrified. And obedient. You lie down, spread your legs slightly, point your toes in, and can see out of the corner of your eye the thermometer going in to the Vaseline.

Then some whispering between the doctor and the nurse. The door opens, in come the students, the residents, and most of the nurses who know you. They are going to watch. You say no way, but guess what you signed without reading? Permission for all of them to watch.

You almost pass out. You become tense, and you hear the doctor instructing the crowd. “This is a rectal thermometer, first you lubricate it then you insert it in to the rectum. Please observe”.

But your rectum is so tight, first he needs to put his finger up your rectum. You see him sticking it in the jar, and he is coming toward you. He pulls down your underpants, exposing your buttocks. He takes his hand, and asks the nurse for assistance. He takes the left, she the right and spread them apart. He touches your anus, fingertip first, out, a little deeper, out again. In, out, in out until finally, his whole finger is inserted and he leaves it there to dilate you. He is talking to the group like you aren’t there. You hear snickering and some chatter in the background.

Next, the finger is out, the thermometer is in. He is putting it in, swirling it around, and once again, in and out, in and out. “Nurse, get the enema ready…”

Am I on the right track?

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